As humans, we have the gift of language. A gift not held by any other species. Despite this there is a known miscommunication that exists in our speech. Is it because we unconsciously speak in a way that makes sense to us? Do we do that because, deep down we just want to be heard? Let us explore more about effective ways to improve our communication in this post, so that we create a much better impact on ourselves and the dear people around us.
Just as a life without food is impossible, science has proven over years of research that everything consumed by us either heals us or kills us. In a similar way, what we see, show, speak, hear and touch also has an unconscious impact on our lives creating positive or negative impacts. There are ways in which we can connect with people in truly meaningful ways – and with ourselves in this technological day and age. Is there a way for us to pick out aspects of good communication and imbibe that in our day-to-day life? Research says there is.
I am sure many of you here will agree with me when I say, ‘There is no food like Mum’s food’ (I am sorry if you had a bad childhood and did not get to experience mother’s food. You are free to talk to me and visit me – to get a feel of what mom’s food is like. I would consider my mother to be the best cook in this world and she is generous to feed just anyone). The difference is the love and compassion a Mother brings to the table; there is simply no substitute for it.
Just as we eat our Mother’s food that makes us feel extra special inside, we must feed ourselves with understanding and compassion for our fellow human beings in order to provide healing to ourselves and to others. You might stop here and ask yourself, ‘do I need/is it possible to be conscious about what I consume?’. The answer is – Yes. In order to become more mindful in life, one needs to –
Wait. Judgement? Return awareness? Breathing? What are you talking about man? Is this some kind of cult you are dragging me into or what? Let me outta here. Ok…ok. Hold up. Just breathe in and breathe out. Relax. I have got this, alright? Let me give you an example. Imagine you are at a supermarket. There are all kinds of things to shop and that much more kinds of people walking in and out of there. You see a group of high school kids come running in and screaming causing all kinds of ruckus. Then you see a family with two obedient children walking quietly besides their parents and you are wondering – how? And then there is an old man who is hard of hearing, digging his way slowly into his wallet looking for change while there are 6 customers waiting behind him, some annoyed, some amused.
As you are reading this, if you are looking at the story and going ‘Why am I reading this?’, then that my friend is your lesson # 1. Let go of the judgement and just go with the flow. Not everything in life is supposed to make sense and if everything around you made sense and you were able to see through it, then you’re probably Einstein. Not kidding. Some of you probably smiled, some probably cringed, and some went WTH! Your reaction was involuntary and independent to you. But did you stop and take the time to observe yourself and notice the way you reacted? . Great if you did. If you did not, then go back and try reading again. As you observe, stop every time you react and grow awareness on your speech and body language. That is your lesson # 2. Lastly lesson # 3 is somewhat related to lesson # 2 however, it has more to do with being conscious about what you absorb from your environment. If someone is angry and screaming at us, one of two things is likely to happen. We either absorb that energy and become angry ourselves or we absorb that energy, internalize it with emotions and become sad. It is almost impossible to imagine taking a beating with a smile. ‘That is stupid’ is what one would tend to think however, that takes us back to lesson # 1.
Thus, the steps for effective communication begins with connecting with ourselves internally. We need to clear up all the mess inside of us in order to channel mindful awareness towards others therefore helping us get out there and getting what we want. When you get better at communicating with yourself, it is easier to find happiness. Practice non-talking and non-thinking i.e., taking time in your life to not say or do anything. This gives us the space to truly listen to ourselves. With this we can get better at listening to others. Listening is such an important aspect of our lives. We often tend to ignore what the other person is trying to say, particularly over digital communication and stick to only what we want.
Always remember that the best sale happens only when a client’s needs are met. This leaves a lasting impression on the other person, the feeling of being listened to and helps reduce the risk of alienation in our lives. Lastly, do not ignore suffering. Suffering is common and will motivate you to do something to help relive it whether, it is your own, your friends, your family of just of the world. Listen with intent, love yourself, live to understand and ask yourself repeatedly if what you’ve done is enough. It will help you develop compassion for others and instill a source of eternal happiness within. Love all, Serve all.